December 11, 2009

About Half of Paste’s 100 Best Band Names Are Good

What’s even more subjective than judging a band’s music? Judging a band’s name. At least there are some objective factors that can help prove music is bad (out-of-tune instruments, off-key vocals, extremely poor recording quality, etc.), but even then it has to be drastic for everyone to agree.

However, when you’re talking band names, it comes down to the individual’s whimsy — even their mood on a given day. And unlike their music, their name usually inspires way fewer latitudes of acceptance. It’s usually either complete love or hate. No middle ground.

That’s why Paste’s 100 Best Band Names of All Time is a bad idea from the get-go. And since Buzzgrinder has far superior taste (I mean, we are pretty white, but no music publication ascribes to Stuff White People Like’s principles more than Paste. Just look at their name.), it’s easy to say that at least half the names aren’t deserving.

Take, for example, Question Mark and the Mysterians, Wiccan Guidance Counselor, Pabst Smear or Average White Band. Horrible. Awful. Stupid. Definitely not the best band names of all time. And those are just some of the worst offenders.

All this begs the question: What really are the best band names of all time? What about the worst?

12 Responses to “About Half of Paste’s 100 Best Band Names Are Good”

  1. On 12/11/09 2:31 PM, Jay DiNitto said:

    “Wiccan Guidance Counselor”

    LOL

  3. On 12/11/09 2:41 PM, Jay DiNitto said:

    Some of my favorites:
    Breather Resist
    Man Is Mostly Water
    Fear Before the March of Flames
    Starkweather
    Spiral Architect
    The Receiving End of Sirens

    Funniest:
    Powernap on Satan’s Floor
    John Cougar Concentration Camp
    Ass Spatula
    Weekend Nachos

    Most hated:
    Meshuggah
    Rwake
    !!!
    Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky
    He Is We
    Magrudergrind
    Any Verb the Noun name
    Any one word plural noun name
    Most metalcore band names
    Most indie rock band names
    Most black metal band names
    God…there’s so many

  5. On 12/11/09 3:44 PM, Sergio Hernandez said:

    I walked into Hot Topic last week with the GF and some generic metalcore band’s CD was playing. She asked if I knew who it was and I said, “I dunno… probably like It… Dies Tomorrow or something.”

    The manager’s response when we asked? It Dies Today.

  7. On 12/11/09 3:45 PM, Sean Cannon said:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    sadly, though, i just found out that you walk into hot topics, serge. take the knife out of my back quickly, please.

  9. On 12/11/09 7:25 PM, cool said:

    Some Good Ones:
    The Who
    Spoon
    These Arms Are Snakes
    Fleet Foxes
    The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

  11. On 12/13/09 12:05 AM, Jesse said:

    Spoon is a TERRIBLE band name.

    I enjoy names such as…
    Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    Sonic Youth
    Pissed Jeans
    Nirvana
    …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
    Kurt Vile

  13. On 12/13/09 1:34 PM, sammy said:

    I like in the documentary about Joy Division, they interview some guy that said as soon as he heard the band’s name he knew they would be something special.

  15. On 12/13/09 8:51 PM, sean said:

    How can you not love Question Mark and the Mysterians as a band name? Come on now.

  17. On 12/14/09 11:01 AM, Don Gaines said:

    there’s a venue down the street from where i work, they mostly have metal bands and those names never disappoint:

    witches tit
    throbbing testicles

    today at lunch i’m taking a picture of one of the posters in all its glory. also, jay, weekend nachos played here this weekend. i was eating pizza and heard them playing, not uber impressed. and they didn’t give out nachos, weird?

  19. On 12/14/09 2:06 PM, Don Gaines said:

    promised picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/23997363@N00/4185664410/sizes/l/

    my fav’s here are:
    shitfire
    androids of ex lovers
    midget cum mustache (wtf?)

  21. On 12/14/09 2:45 PM, Jay DiNitto said:

    “also, jay, weekend nachos played here this weekend. i was eating pizza and heard them playing, not uber impressed.”

    I don’t like them either. Never actually listened to them, but I know they’re scene grind and that’s enough info for me.

  23. On 01/20/10 11:02 PM, Roncore said:

    Haha, I am the guitarist for Midget Cum Mustache. That show at Vinos was horrible because of the venue being complete asses.

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