So Tom Morello — mostly known as guitarist for Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave, but now one of the forces behind snorecore act Street Sweeper Social Club — recently admitted that he did a lot of crap jobs when he first moved out to L.A. And that included a stint as a banana slinger. That’s right, Morello was a male stripper. He even gives a few juicy details:

When I graduated from Harvard and moved to Hollywood, I was unemployable. I was literally starving, so I had to work menial labour and, at one point, I even worked as an exotic dancer. ‘Brick House’ [by The Commodores] was my jam! I did bachelorette parties and I’d go down to my boxer shorts. Would I go further? All I can say is thank god it was in the time before YouTube! You could make decent money doing that job – people do what they have to do.

This is funny enough as it is, but the real reason I’m mentioning it is because of the headline Drowned in Sound gave their post about it, which made me literally laugh out loud: Balls on Parade.

Needless to say, it reminded me of how the porn industry comes up with their movie titles (you know, like Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone, Driving Into Miss Daisy or Rambone). And, of course, that got me thinking about pornifying other song titles.

So, with that, I open up the floor. Give it your best shot. Where’s Rojas when you need him?

11 Responses to “Tom Morello Was a Stripper”

1. On 11/4/09 12:14 PM, Colin said:

   

   A Certain Shade of Cream (Incubus – certain shade of green)

   Shlong 2 (Blur – song 2)

   evershlong (foo fighters – everlong)

   and im done for now.

2. On 11/4/09 12:46 PM, sleepy said:

   

   i think you should wait for rojas on this one…

3. On 11/4/09 3:32 PM, Don Gaines said:

   

   Weezer- Butty Holly
   The Eagles- Take It Sleezy
   HORSE the Band- HORSE the Porn
   Master P- I Miss My Gummies (toofless hookers, make em say uhh!)

   admittedly not that great, but i wanted to kill some time.

4. On 11/4/09 6:43 PM, ryan. said:

   

   haha. horse the PORN is great.

   this is up my alley, but i’m lazy.
   maybe later.

   heh…..up my alley.

5. On 11/4/09 9:50 PM, rojas said:

   

   so I have been beckoned to come back onto Buzzgrinder for some good times….lovely.

   here’s a few..

   Buns N’ Poses (great title for a gay porno)
   “I Can’t Get No (Penetration)”–The Rolling Stones
   “When A Man Cums On A Woman” –Percy Sledge
   “Rock Around My Cock” –Bill Haley & The Comets
   “Bang A Dong (Get It On) –T-Rex

   and of course, since this is about Tom Morello and RATM

   “Porn of a Horny Man”

   p.s. hey Colin..have your balls dropped yet? those suggestions sucked….just like your mom did last night.

   xoxoxoxoxo,

   me

6. On 11/5/09 12:39 AM, Sean Cannon said:

   

   oh how i’ve missed you.

7. On 11/5/09 1:13 AM, xforewarnedx said:

   

   Rally around the ladies…pocket full of bills!

8. On 11/5/09 8:31 AM, Indie Dad said:

   

   Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me – Elton John
   Black Dong – Led Zeppelin
   Norwegian Wood (no change needed) – The Beatles
   Spunk’s Not Dead – The Exploited
   I’ve Got You under My Foreskin – Frank Sinatra

9. On 11/5/09 12:51 PM, Jay DiNitto said:

   

   rojas wins best post for this year, plus a few years back, retroactively.

10. On 11/5/09 2:26 PM, The Duke said:

    

    Rojas all the way every time i read this site all the best comments are from this man

11. On 11/5/09 10:20 PM, rojas said:

    

    first off, Indie Dad…kudos good sir. THOSE are some good selections..

    btw, it’s nice to get some love on BG..it’s better to get laid but still, love is good too.

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