Hi, welcome to DANZIG WATCH 2010. Somebody has to keep up with every mention of Glenn Danzig on the web, right? Any tips or help you might want to offer would be greatly appreciated (danzigwatch@buzzgrinder.com). After all, DANZIG WATCH 2010 is more than one blog can handle. It’s bigger than us all. Because Danzig’s biceps are bigger than Beth Ditto.

This installment of DANZIG WATCH 2010 comes from stand-up comedian April Richardson, as she recounts what was likely the greatest day of her life.

Have you ever seen or heard Glenn Danzig laugh? No. No you haven’t. He’s fucking DANZIG, man — the guy who sings about raping babies and killing your mom, the guy who invented the devilock, the guy who wears black fishnet shirts and a giant cow skull belt buckle. He’s the closest thing we’ve got to the actual Devil living on Earth; he doesn’t fucking laugh. Or does he?

For my recent birthday (during which I turned 31, not 13 as this story will no doubt lead you to believe), I asked my best friend Millie to give me a Danzig makeover. (I’m fairly certain that had I been born a dude, I’d be biting his style in my everyday life.) She drew on the tough tats, and I put on a black muscle-T and some newly purchased black tuff cuffs and we did a photo shoot in my bedroom. And then we went to dinner and to karaoke where I sang Mother in full costume.

Two days later, I learned Danzig would be participating in a book signing at a comic book shop mere yards from my apartment, so I HAD to go. HAD TO. And I brought along photographic evidence of my transformation (courtesy of my phone) to show him, hoping he’d get a kick out of it instead of casting a spell on me or eating my face or something.

I waited in line nervously next to my friend David who got me into the Misfits in the first place (sporting a killer devilock, natch), and once I reached the Dark Lord, I said, “It was my birthday the other day and do you know what I asked for as a gift? A makeover to look like you.” I then showed him the results and nervously awaited his reaction.

“Your arms aren’t big enough,” Danzig said.

“I know,” I replied. “I tried to do that thing where I cheated and pressed my arms out with my hands, but it didn’t quite work.” I physically demonstrated what I meant, and then…

Glenn Danzig laughed. At me. At the thing that I had said and done.

I am pretty sure this is my greatest accomplishment in life. I’m putting it on my resume.

3 Responses to “DANZIG WATCH 2010: The Day I made Danzig Laugh!”

1. 

   On 05/21/10 9:58 PM, Munnch said:

   Honestly instead of all the chuck norris facts around there should be Glenn Danzig facts
   for example Glenn Danzig as a child fought off all the demons ozzy faced as an adult

3. 

   On 08/27/10 5:18 PM, Niko Bulgaro said:

   Greetings, Sister April!
   You shurely made Me laugh with Your Danzig story!
   Danzig is The Truest!
   May The Great Winds be with You all, Danzig brothers and sisters!
   May we all be strong and free!

5. 

   On 10/8/10 2:58 PM, Rene charles said:

   That was a great story. I have enjoyed Danzig for a long time, and that was a great story..

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