I know, I know. I’m late.
 
But like a mostly-absent father, I’m here after the fact with half-truth excuses and half-empty promises. A ballgame next week, perhaps, is how I’ll win back your favor. But I won’t be there. No, you’ll just be sitting on your porch, mitt in hand, like a sucker.
 
But let’s not get bogged down with those pesky details!
 
My kid got sick and I think I caught some kind of mutated version of her disease specifically engineered to make me more tired than I usually already am because I have been dragging ass this week. The good news is that I seem to be over it and I’ve got a wild hair up my ass.
 
I got my CSTVT vinyl in the mail today! Huzzah!
 
Pretty, I know. I also got the new Eisley album in the mail. Unfortunately, it’s not as pretty. I’m gay for female vocalists and even gayer for dream pop/shoegazer shit so I’ve had a boner for Eisley for a minute. Never mind the fact that they’re from Tyler, a city two hours away from me and those three foxy sisters that have starred in any number of my lewd, possibly illegal fantasies.
 
Read the rest of this week’s Old and Jaded.

Yes, Keith Morris might be trying to hide his balding scalp under giant dreadlocks and a big rastafarian hat — but don’t hold that against Off! We’re talking 16 tracks of straight-up hardcore punk beauty. It’s a bunch of dudes getting back to their roots, and going off in the process.

It might not hold up perfectly against the genuine article (e.g. don’t listen to Black Flag, then pop this in thinking there won’t be a drop off), but this is the kind of thing that makes you want to punch someone in the face, then punch yourself.

Here’s the thing: When you ask just about anyone to delineate their favorite rock documentaries, there are a handful that constantly pop up. I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, Anvil!, Dig!, Instrument, The Fearless Freaks, Gimme Shelter and Don’t Look Back invariably find their way into pretty much any must-see lists friends pass your way.

So we decided to detail five documentaries about bands that you might not have seen. These include some fascinating stories which you may have heard before. A couple, however, reveal stories about musicians that remain largely unknown — or at least underknown (of course that’s not a real word, duh).

Gram Parsons is a musical figure that remains criminally underappreciated to this day (depending on who you ask of course, since things like this are relative to which room in their parents’ house your music nerd friends still live in; if it’s deep in the basement, they’re probably talking already rolling their eyes reciting his life story), so it’s no surprise that the 2004 documentary chronicling his life as a pioneer of “cosmic American music” hasn’t gotten more ink in the intervening six years.

His story is such an archetypal of the rock and roller story that you almost wonder if it was scripted. But sadly, it wasn’t, and Parsons left us too early.

Regardles of your feelings about — or prior knowledge of — Half Japanese, you can’t help but come out of this movie without some kind of respect. Whether it’s the weirdness factor alone (these dudes make a band like The Flaming Lips look conventional), the idea that music is somehow needlessly complicated by people who want to keep the market cornered on coolness or the band’s actual music, Jad and David Fair will find some way to endear themselves to you.

I mean, just take in this quote about how much knowledge of the guitar you should have to properly perform: “You do need chords… in order to plug the guitar in. But that’s pretty much it.”

One of the most interesting and engaging parts of the music industry in general, and early rock and roll in particular, is also one of the most obscure when it comes to the general public. That’s the nature of session musicians. The ability of a real music aficionado (read, geek) to discuss the merits of these virtuosos and recite the albums they worked on is a sight to behold.

And this was a time when session guys were recording some of the best music around, as opposed to the modern landscape which sees them mostly working on records with musicians who, well, aren’t really musicians.

So when The Wrecking Crew gives you a peek inside that world by exploring the movie’s namesake, a group of players that were a force in L.A. for years, it’s like peeling back the curtain to see Oz for a few minutes.

This doc and the one below it are two of the more well-known entries on the list, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t underappreciated. The nitty gritty of The Ramones, similar to the aforementioned Parsons, is a story that’s almost too good to be true. At every twist and turn, it gives the impression of a Wes Anderson movie — only it’s all real. Every bit of it.

So when a movie comes along that can do justic to one of the most enthralling stories in rock music, it should be regarded as a paragon of rock doc magic. We’re not talking about your typical self-destructive band of womanizing misfits, here. This is the freaking Ramones.

Sure, the Decline of the Western Civilization series is known for doing a great job at giving you a feel for a time and place in music, but they don’t hold a candle to what American Hardcore accomplishes. This film exhaustively, informatively and sincerely gives a rundown of what made hardcore punk great.

As someone who born the same year My War came out, this movie made me feel like I was actually there in the circle pits and squats — or at least it made me want to be.

:: Richard Swift gave a rundown of all the songs he and Damien Jurado recorded for Other People’s Songs Vol. 1.

:: It only took five months, but Duff McKagan is done with Jane’s Addiction.

:: Narduwar took on Greg Ginn and Ron Reyes of Black Flag.

:: In case you’ve been waiting patiently for naked Pete Doherty pictures, you’ve been rewarded for that quiet steadfastness.

:: Mumford and Sons apparently don’t think too highly of themselves. They don’t think there’s much chance the Mercury Prize will be coming their way. Oh false modesty.

:: Fucked Up‘s Damian Abraham wants everyone to know he doesn’t wear a fat suit.

:: All Tomorrow’s Parties looked like lots of fun. Mainly thanks to the karaoke signs. And Shellac. Always Shellac.

:: So true: “Stream Hurley on Weezer’s MySpace, if you want to ruin your day.”

I don’t know what makes this video from The Thermals better: cutting out a teddy bear’s stereo heart, the vintage Black Flag poster in the bedroom or that sweet credenza in the living room. Nevermind, it’s the credenza.

Louisville’s Coliseum has a new album, House With a Curse, out today. And in honor of the hellacious record’s release, frontman Ryan Patterson is taking the reigns of Buzzgrinder today.

I’m currently reading the flawed, yet enjoyable Spray Paint the Walls: The Story of Black Flag, which has not only put me onto a serious Black Flag kick (I forgot how awesome the Slip It In and Loose Nut LPs are!), but has gotten me thinking about my favorite books about music. Here are a few of them…

DANCE OF DAYS: Two Decades of Punk in the Nation’s Capital by Mark Andersen and Mark Jenkins

As a D.C./Dischord fanatic, Mark Andersen’s name has been familiar to me since I was in my mid-teens. He was the head of D.C.’s Positive Force collective, who released the best compilation ever, State of the Union, which came with a huge booklet about political ideology and activism, vegetarianism and counterculture that truly changed my life and inspired paths in life that I follow to this day. When I heard that Andersen was working on a massively inclusive book about D.C. punk and hardcore, I was chomping at the bit. I was in my early 20s by the time the book was released, but my obsession with D.C. music has never faltered, and I was beyond excited for this book. It did not disappoint. From very damaging stories about Bad Brains‘ homophobic past, to stories as simple as where Swiz got their name, this thing was like a bible to me, I only wished it was longer!

See more of Ryan’s favorite music-related books.

Hi, welcome to DANZIG WATCH 2010. Somebody has to keep up with every mention of Glenn Danzig on the web, right? Any tips or help you might want to offer would be greatly appreciated (danzigwatch@buzzgrinder.com). After all, DANZIG WATCH 2010 is more than one blog can handle. It’s bigger than us all. Because Danzig’s belt buckle is bigger than Fellini.

Former Born Against frontman Sam McPheeters not only got the honor of being picked from the media pool to interview Glenn Danzig for Vice, but he got to do it at the dark lord’s humbled house of brood no less.

McPheeters cut through the Danzig tape to get choice conversation on topics as varied as the fact that the best way to get fired from his band is to write something (so it turns out the cut and run move from the elctroshit mess of previous albums has nothing to do with Prong’s Tommy Victor on guitar) and that the 54-year-old keeps fit by shunning western medicine.

But then there’s the obvious question we all have: Who would play Danzig in a movie? Well he claims he’s never thought about it before — and that just can’t be true. Everyone masturbates, everybody hates somebody, and everybody casts their own biopic in their head.

First off, that’s never gonna happen. And I couldn’t even tell you who I think should play me because by the time a movie like that is ever done, whoever I would pick now would be too old. [laughs] And also, you know Hollywood doesn’t ever pick the right people to play those parts.

No they don’t. Case in point: Rise Against as Black Flag in Lords of Dogtown.

Hopefully I’ll be dead and I won’t have to know about it.

Henry Rollins has just announced what he’s calling the Frequent Flyer Tour, which will be a two-month spoken word jaunt all over the U.S. and Canada beginning in February. I’m pretty amped, because he’s hitting my favorite venue, the Southgate House.

So I’ll more than likely be there with my camera all up in his grill, getting my face punched in by Spider from Johnny Mnemonic. I mean, sure, most people say they remember Hank as the frontman of Black Flag, but I think we all know where his legacy really lies. Thank you Keanu Reeves.

See the Henry Rollins tour dates.

So Many Dynamos has a new album, The Loud Wars, which comes out June 9. And not only did the band allow Buzzgrinder to stream the whole thing until Tuesday, but the guys were also kind enough to take over posting duties for the day. So the staff gets to sit at home and watch our stories.

Our Band Could Be your Life – Michael Azzerad
Crucial read. Each chapter chronicles a different band during the birth of independent music in America, during the late 70s/early 80s, including Fugazi, Black Flag, Mission Of Burma, Sonic Youth, The Minutemen and more.

Get in The Van – Henry Rollins
While I’m not a huge Black Flag fan, I can definitely appreciate how hard they worked and what badasses they were. It could not have been fun to be in this band.

See the rest of Griffin’s required van reading.

Superdrag has a new album, Industry Giants, which comes out tomorrow. And not only did the band allow Buzzgrinder to stream it, but John Davis was also kind enough to take over the posting duties for the day. So the staff gets to sit at home and eat bon bons.

Surely The Minutemen will never be forgotten, but when asked to contribute an entry for the Remember… column, they were the first band that came to mind. I can remember very clearly the first time I ever heard their music. I was a few years too young to have witnessed it first-hand. But I was fortunate enough to have a cousin a few years older, who was into good music and didn’t mind me hanging around and listening to records. Now he’s the bass player for Knoxville punk heroes The Rude Street Peters. When I was still in middle school, he was playing me records like The Punch Line, 3-Way Tie for Last, Flip Your Wig and New Day Rising. I can still remember the album covers.

Keep remembering The Minutemen with John Davis. Read more.